wd40 and a handgun

I told someone today that I was 36. After I got off the phone I thought about it and I think I’m still 35. Then again, maybe I am 36. I’m just not sure. The middle of my 20’s was the same way. Those years just get swirled and swept around as if by a wind sprite. How do the years pass so quickly we can’t keep track of them. I mean 30 was big, 40 will be even bigger. But those middle years probably feel quiet animosity towards us when we forget them.

The big years are celebrated with such gusto. I have never gone to a “BIG 4-2” party, have you? Each decade is celebrated with a large party, sometimes an extravagant gift. Some people start their midlife crisis, dyeing their combover a dark brown and buying a bright red convertible. Some people have that plastic surgery they’ve been putting off during those inconsequential years. Yes, I can see why those middle years would be quite indignant by this lack of respect.

Maybe that is why it is in those abandoned years that things begin to fall apart. Their jealousy bubbles over and becomes a torn ACL, a sprained ankle, a heart attack, Lyme Disease........I guess it just depends on how thoroughly we’ve neglected them and, in turn, how truly vexed they are at us. Apparently, I have made mine pretty mad.

It’s not just the birthdays. A baby is In Utero for 40 weeks. Judas sold His Savior for 30 pieces of silver. There is a TV show called 30 Rock, and a movie, 13 going on 30. It rained for 40 days and 40 nights for Noah. the Thirty Year’s War, the Dirty Thirty, Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights, 40 winks of sleep, and 40 hrs in a typical work week all get their due.

It is for that reason, I raise my right hand and swear heretofore to remember that I am 35, until the 12th day of September when I will be 36.

I just got off the phone with Charles.

It is for that reason, I raise my right hand and swear heretofore to remember that I am 36, until the 12th day of September when I will be 37........I think.