psychotic

Today’s excitement; a 4 hour nap followed by the complete destruction of my dear friend, Melody’s, psyche - causing her to have a complete body and mind shutdown from the chaos of 2 girls, a handicap in a motorized wheelchair, and one of those crazy carts at Target that is impossible to push because there is a 4x4 plastic apparatus strapped to the front that supposedly makes it easier to keep your kids wrangled but in actuality is so difficult to drive that you end up cursing at your children, and that is IF they even stay in the thing.

Melody’s ruined psyche, 4 major wheelchair wrecks complete with ear piercing beeps as I tried to back up causing everyone around to stare, 3 (only 3!) trips to the bathroom, 28 threats to get back in the cart, 3 pizza hut breadsticks, 1 personal pan pizza, 1 red icee, 1 blue icee, 1 bag of popcorn, 1 diet coke, 1 iced coffee, 2 birthday cards, 3 birthday gifts, 3 valentines cards, and 1 package of school valentines later, we finally made it to the car. You would think it would be easier once we got in the car, but oh no. Melody’s psyche was continuing its gradual decline, kids were yelling, demanding, whining, bags were everywhere, breadsticks being eaten, popcorn spilling into all the cracks and crevices of her car. At least they were buckled in, but it was not much better than in the store.

And although we had a long discussion pertaining to the surprise aspect of NOT TELLING DADDY about the gifts and cards we got him, the absolute first words out of Finn’s mouth as Charles crossed the doorstep were “Dad, we got you a surprise!” Not unpredictable, how can you expect a 3 year old to keep a secret.

Melody is now looking at me with a blue plastic belt buckled around her head, she looks kinda like a mix between an Indian Chief and a Trekkie. I think we’ve lost her completely. I definitely owe her more than a bag of popcorn and a diet coke.