back on the grid

Back on the grid. Somewhere between the fact that my hands are so shaky it is difficult to type and the disappointment that my progress has been less than progressive has left me a dangling semi-blogger, clocking in only 4 blogs in Nov, and a whopping 3 in Dec. Hopefully that is over. I mean the dangling part. Back on the grid.

The problem with progress is no matter where you go or who you see, the first question is, “So, you’re feeling better, right?” or a hopeful, “How are you feeling?” It’s not your fault. Personally, I too thought things would be quite different by now. But, the ugly truth is, they are not.

I began having seizures again somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have had 6 since then. Dr. Jemsek continues to search for clear days. Days in which my neurologic functions are clear and I have no symptoms. This happens very rarely, although by this time he would hope to be seeing groups of “clear” days in a row.

This is not to say I don’t have good days. I have good days and I have bad days. Bad days, I don’t get out of bed. Good days, I have about 3 hours of energy before I crash. Sometimes I try to get out of the house during that time, other days I use that time to actually shower and pamper myself. And still other days, I try to pour that energy into my kiddos. Most times it is a frantic mish-mash of the three.



This is the unfortunate un-progress I have to report. That being said, don’t be afraid to ask me how I am when you bump into me at the store, or stop by to see me. Just be prepared for the answer to possibly be less than what you are hoping to hear, or what I am wishing I could communicate.